Emptiness has many meanings, sometimes, it is not having what is supposed to be there.. sometimes, it is not knowing what is required and sometimes its just not knowing what you should do with what you have. Its amazing to see the oscillating degree of emptiness for every quantimizable item in life. Some people are always empty in their mind... it really doesnt matter how many opportunities and chances life has offered them... they remain empty handed, empty minded! If excellence drives human kind... pathetism devours it and perpetual emptiness does it scornfully. Btw, I am not sure if pathetism is a word.. but it captures the essence apt and why I am sounding so distasteful is perhaps because I am watching too many movies about ghosts, wizards and supernatural powers filthy filled with superbly ugly looking characters and consequently, the simple idea of being 'without-any-work-that-satisfies-my-brain' has been turned into a philosophical thought filled with expression of hatred in British English. God knows if I am making any sense.

You know what! If the world doesn't give you employment what should you do? "Create your own company and work for yourself", a Steve Jobs or a Bill Gates or a Gujju or a Marwadi might say this.. but not me, of course! I would still be sitting hopelessly crying over adverse situations, waiting for some goddamn company to lift me up from a pool of lakhs of candidates in the world; and mind it, it is not my first job that I witness such state of helplessness, it is probably 5th or the 6th one. Some people see a lot of world.. but just don't apply the learnings in their own life.

Whatever! It's not all bad also... I should stop feeling bad about myself and think about good things happening around.. especially when D is sleeping peacefully after handing me over his most prized possession, his first love, his life line, his laptop. Proves that he has developed some trust on me. Otherwise, earlier whenever I am in 3 metres radius of his laptop, one of his eyes would always watch my actions, straight or diagonally. And yes I should feel happy about celebrating Navratri and Ram Janm in my house for the first time after marriage... making so many things for prasad... eating delicious Maggie made by D and... for some unknown things which you could not acknowledge but feel happy about them.

Ciao!