Friday, March 18, 2011

Dusting a bit

Coming home has always been a moment of nostalgia. The same room brings everything back to you, whenever you look at those empty walls in the time of silence. Suddenly, it reminds you of yourself. We do not forget ourselves, but the changing times often make those memories hide below the layers of dust and when they come back, they look like strangers.

Every moment spent in this room tells me what a fighter I have been. The never-say die attitude and the potential to convince anyone for anything. Adversity truly brings the best out of mankind. Today I see that my life is much easier to what it was, and I find myself weaker to what I was. Now, I get convinced very easily, settle for mediocre options and my self-belief is giving up before what other opine about me. But today, this room tells me that I could not change so easily, because people's basic nature doesn’t change so easily and that is the reason of conflict I find within myself. Yes! There is always a conflict going inside me… regarding what I want to do and how, whereas, long time back I had found what I wanted to do and had already started working for it. And then my efforts got derailed and I just forgot from where to pull them back.

I must say, there’s a huge price for not trying to get your dreams. It’s better to have no dreams at all, than not making efforts to realize the one you have. Today, when I am sitting in this room, I could feel those old vibes flowing inside me. That is what your surroundings do to you. Now my next step has to be to create this set-up in my new abode, because these vibes are my driving forces and the reason to keep me on the track.